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Monday, August 28, 2006

Retrospect: August

Yo yo yo... I'm back again! I know you guys have missed me so much, thus I'm here to apologize for my extremely long break! :P It's been an eventful month. A lot of things happened unexpectedly, including one such event that had completely changed my views towards life. Serious.

August 6th --- a day I will never ever forget for my entire life. I was in my tuition class, feeling rather tired and sleepy. Don't get me wrong. It's not that the lesson was dull and boring, as it hadn't even started yet! I came early to reserve seats for me and my friends. There were only a handful of students who had arrived, all with the same intention as mine. If I was a tad late, all the front seats would had been booked by others, even though there was still an hour and a half to go before the lesson started.

While I was about to take a nap, I suddenly remembered about the thing my friend had told me days earlier in school --- speaking in tongues. It is a mystical practice in the Christian Church (primarily Charismatic and Pentecostal Churches), which one is able to communicate with Lord via the Holy Spirit, in a language unknown to the speaker. The ability to speak in tongues is considered to be a supernatural gift from God. My friend, a convert to Christianity without his parents' consent, proved to me his ability to speak in tongues, a new-found discovery that he was very excited to share with me. I listened in awe and amazement, wondering whether this was really a gift from God Himself. I didn't think much about this miraculous thing after that, until this day.

I prayed in the way my friend had told me, although my intention was built out of curiosity rather than religious purposes. I asked for the ability to speak in tongues, eager to know whether or not I was one of God's chosen few (my friend told me that some Christians are not able to speak in tongues even though they have asked for it). I then tried to utter some words, but I stopped half-way. I didn't know what I was going to say. I tried again and the same thing happened. My mind was completely blank. I was getting frustrated at this moment, thus I decided to try for the very last time. Just then, an incredible and astonishing thing happened...

When I was about to speak, an unknown force dragged my jaws open and words in a strange language came pouring out from my mouth very fast. I stopped immediately upon hearing this. I was flabbergasted at what I heard. My emotion was mixed. I was exhilarated, and at the same time, frightened. My whole body was shaking. I was nervous. I tried once again and the same force was felt. I listened attentively to what I uttered. It sounded kinda Indian at first, and then Arabic, as well as a weird and funny language that I had no idea what it was. It was indeed miraculous. I just couldn't believe my ears! It was so real that I now truly believe in the existence of Lord and His Kingdom.

To clear things up, you guys ought to know that I'm not a Christian, never been one, but a Buddisht born into a pious family. I've always considered myself to be a devout Buddhist, although I admit that I know relatively few about my faith. Being a guy who is always fascinated by religions and spirituality, my knowledge of Christianity and Islam far transcends that of my very own faith which I've spent 19 years with. Furthermore, I'm always fond of the teachings and doctrines of Christianity, as well as its history and its immense impact on today's humanity.

I understand that I have to pave a path for my future --- either Buddhism or Christianity. Now think about this: a thing some Christians may have taken eternity to ask for, had actually been gifted to someone who is not even a Christian, within a mere 15 minutes! Could this be a divine revelation to me that Lord wants me to walk in His path? I don't know. I'm confused, very confused. I don't wanna be known as a traitor to my faith, nor a Buddhist apostate. Yet one thing is certain --- I would give a chance to Christianity, as well as to me. I'd even gone to search for the Bible while I was in Penang last week! Whichever path I'm about to take, I hope that I would have no regrets :)

I know you guys have been wondering about my trace. It's not that I didn't wanna blog. It's just that my stupid PC had spoilt lah! I couldn't log in to Windows, and had even experienced error messages at start-up, hence I'd to send for repair. A replacement for my hard disk drive and battery costed me a staggering RM380 (including service charges)! I'd to dig my angpows in order to clear the sum. How pathetic! What's worse is that all my mp3s (> 500), pictures and wallpapers were all gone! :sobs:

Another wonderful thing --- I'd got myself a brand new pair of specs! It's a pair of French Connection by the way :P Mum had also got herself a pair of Gucci. Mine costed RM500 while hers was RM1280 (due to the photochromic lenses which can transform the specs into a pair of sunglasses once sunlight is detected). Ain't that cool? The best thing is that I didn't have to pay a single penny! :P We'd decided to change our specs during a specs promo at Gurney Plaza while we were in Penang last month. What a new beginning for both of us!

My specs: (top) old (bottom) new

So what do you guys think? All my friends in school complimented me on my exquisite fashion sense! >+


sophisticatedsoul said...

Can't believe you can speak in tongues. I have seen people speaking in tongues before but never once tried it myself. Judging from the way you put it, not everyone can speak in tongues. However, from what I heard, it can be slowly picked up, not by force though.

So, have you chosen your path?

kyh said...

Nah... I'm still struggling. For once I'd thought of converting, but family pressures held me back. I'm in a deep dilemma now.

Converting to Christianity means I have to abandon all the Chinese traditional practices that clash with Christian teachings. This includes ancestral worship and Buddhist-Confucianist-Taoist beliefs which have always been a dominant part of Chinese culture and lifestyle.

To make things worse, there is an altar for my ancestors at my home, and it is a responsibility for my family to uphold this aged-old Chinese custom. Being the only son of my family, who else if not me is to bear this responsibility one day? So I would just let the wind leads me to where it wants. I believe I will find a satisfying path in the end.

Oh by the way, I'd stopped speaking in tongues for the time being, because my Christian friends had warned me of possible demonic possessions because I am still not yet a Christian, thus is very vulnerable to demonic attacks. They strongly advised me to get baptised spiritually and fully accept Christ into my life before I do the same again. :)